Have you ever just taken on too much? You know? You get into a mode where you think you can do everything. Then all it takes is for one thing to go wrong and it all falls apart.
I did this in the last couple of weeks. I took on way too much and when something went wrong it was like a huge house of cards collapsing around my ears.
I got sick. That's all it took to set the whole thing in motion. I got sick, things got behind and then I had no idea how to pick it all back up.
Of course that's when I got really depressed. Do you see?
Even though it wasn't as bad as it seemed I just shut down and didn't deal with any of it.
This is what happens when you're dealing with a depression that comes from a chemical imbalance. Most people think of depression as being bummed out about something, or even in really bad shape when you are dealing with a loss. Clinical Depression is something else entirely. It robs you of everything. Some days even the most basic self care, like taking a shower is impossible.
This is not a case of "Lazy" "Stupid" or even "Just get up and do it". Those are some of the worse things that you can say to someone in that situation.
A chemical imbalance that causes depression is no different than someone who was born with Juvenal Diabetes. We simply don't produce enough of certain chemicals in our bodies. Taking medications can help with this but it is something that we have to live with every day of our lives. I am still very much in a learning process about all of this.
So today I got myself back on track and I'm working on catching up on everything that got behind.
That being said, I want to extend my apologies to anyone that I have let down in the last couple of weeks by not following through with my obligations.
I do not say this as an excuse, but merely as an explanation.
I also will try not to over book myself and therefore overwork myself in the future.